Last week was a really great week. I saw both Bye Bye Birdie and Hamlet on Broadway (well, Bye Bye Birdie the last night it was in previews before heading to Broadway).

Anyway, I think it’s the most famous people I’ve seen ever before in my life, actually. Bye Bye Birdie starred John Stamos (of Full House and being married to Rebecca Romijin fame) and Gina Gershon (of Showgirls, PS I Love You fame) and then the real star – Jude Law!!

But Bye Bye Birdie first.  So the set fell apart like 3 scenes in, and they put down the curtain, and turned on the lights – and John Stamos came out on stage like “We’re having some technical difficulties so they sent me out…” It was so hilarious! And better, who’s in the audience but Bob Saget?? Love it! And he went up on stage and they did some awkward kind of stand up together, but it was just priceless.

The play went on, and it was really good.  Everyone is just so super talented in these things.

And speaking of talented…oh Jude.  And speaking of hot…Jude.  Ok, I get that he got some 24 year old model/waitress pregnant…and I get that it’s ridiculous/kind of creepy that he has a history of doing these types of things.  But just seeing him up close like that, and seeing how great of an actor he is, and he’s just so charismatic, attractive, talented.  Ok, I’m done gushing. Needless to say, if he asked me to be the mother of his children, it would be pretty tough to say no.

Anyway, so we had seriously good tickets for this one, and I just think Hamlet is such a great play.  So many great lines come from it:

“To thine own self be true…”

“To be, or not to be, that is the question…”

“Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for loan oft loses both itself and friend”

“Frailty – thy name is woman” (I don’t personally agree with that one, but when Jude says it, I’m like…”well ok…”

“Something is rotten in the state of Denmark”

“Though this be madness, yet there is method in it” (precursor to “there is method in the madness”)

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”

“O, woe is me!”

“The lady dost protest too much”

“I must be cruel, to be kind”

Anyway, if you recognize even a few of these, you know how famous the play is.  The only thing that I thought was lacking in this production was Ophelia.  I just thought she was kind of a ninny.  She was just too innocently wide eyed, and easily led…I don’t know, I just didn’t see Hamlet going for her at all.  Maybe it was because she just didn’t seem as dynamic as the rest of the cast.

After the play, we managed to snag an autograph on our playbills (you can just barely make out a “J”) and I got some choice pictures, which I’ll post.  If there hadn’t been so many people there, I would have felt like kind of a tool w. my camera trying to get pics of him, but as it was, I don’t think he really noticed.  I think my friend summed it up best, after he’d driven off in his SUV (after being quite nice by signing everyone’s playbills) and we’re just looking at each other like Wow and she says:

“He really is quite lovely, isn’t he?”

Before leaving this subject, may I just say that I was the first one to love Jude Law (much like a certain Twilight actor who I liked when he was in Harry Potter and no one gave two snaps about him, but I did before anyone else, but I digress).  I saw Jude in Gattaca and even though he was in a wheelchair, I STILL thought he was super hot, even cuter than Ethan Hawke (I know it’s not very PC to say that, but a wheelchair can be tough for SOME people to see beyond. Not me, clearly.)  It still is one of my fave movies (starring Uma Thurman as well).  Anyhoo, over the years, I watched him get famous, and then super duper famous…so it was just kind of surreal and amazing to see him up close like that, in the flesh.  The very sexy flesh.

I swear, the best $$ I ever spend is on Broadway.

I know I have been bad about updating on this thing.  It’s not like I haven’t had the time, although work has been rather busy, but just haven’t been too inspired.  First, I’ll start with relevant updates:

• I have a kitty! He couldn’t be cuter.  After much debate, I’ve decided to name him Darcy.  Let’s face it people, I am very much on the fence about children in general, and if the guys I’ve dated are any indication of what the guys will be like who I will date in the future, then I’m probably going to opt out of the whole ‘having kids’ thing.  Darcy is one of my fave names, not only because of Pride and Prejudice, but also just in general, for a guy or a girl.  Also, I like ambiguous names, like Ashley for a boy (Gone w. the Wind) or Alex for a girl. Anyhoo, Darcy is a cutie, though she does like to bite at my feet and annoy me mightily while doing so, he’s a little keeper

• Secondly, my boss left the company.  The boss who hired me, who I really really enjoy. I’ve never had a better boss. So, it sucks.  So much of my job is about the people you work with. And I’m scared who they might get in here next.  I’ve had some very bad boss experience, and do not want to repeat them.
• The apartment transition is going well.  It’s like, a normal apartment now.  Countertops, couch, books shelves (and yes, I put the doors on aLLL by myself within like 3 hours one Friday night. Hmm that’s a bit sad sounding).  It’s looking good. There’s a few things still to do, getting a large mirror up, getting some shelving in the kitchen. 
• Also in apartment news, I’m not waking up with my heart pounding each night, convinced that a murdered has climbed up the three flights of stairs, taken out my air conditioners and slipped through the window. All to kill little me. I mean, I still want to get some pepper spray to keep next to my bed, but I’m less paranoid. Little Darcy has helped with that, because lord knows he will at least get stuck under said intruder’s feet, and probably painfully bite him, so yes, my little kitty will protect me.
• As for my love life, I know that I’ve said this in the past, but I really and truly just give up.  Maybe it’s because I’ve been dealing with what I now believe is a mentally retarded person for the last few months (with no pay off, just dum dee dum, this is clearly not going anywhere) but now I truly believe he may have slowness issues.  There are boring details of it, and I’m sure I could give some examples of all the back and forth and “what?” moments that have stumped myself and others, but I’ll spare you the time, and myself the additional ink which said person does not deserve. Needless to say, and yes, I wrote this in one of those emails to him, I have really hit my limit and am done.  It took me an embarrassingly long time to do so, but it’s happened. Sigh. So now I really and truly just give up.

Otherwise, I’m glad the summer is over.  This whole thing was a wash as far as I’m concerned. The weather was atrocious, it was mainly stressful w. apartment issues, I didn’t really go anywhere or take much time off and oh yeah, I went to the ER for the first time in my life and was at physical therapy for the remainder.  The autumn weather feels quite renewing and refreshing.

 

Quick update on the hair – I’ve been swimming the pool, sweating profusely in this extreme heat, washing it a ton…and it is literally straight.  Like, almost too straight.  And shiny. and nice.  It’s just, so weird. Not that I hated my curly hair…but to have my hair dry straight, quickly, having to do nothing to it? It’s like too much.

Anyway, I’m home for the weekend.  Every time I’ve been away for a while, I forget how nice it is here. Gorgeous, lush, plants, flowers, wind, open sky…just so different from NYC.  The pool is heaven in this cloying humdity.

My sister and mom are too funny. They are obsessed, and I don’t use that word lightly, obsessed with Adam Lambert. Yep, that guy from American Idol who annouced he was gay via the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. And get this – they even saw the American Idol concert.  That’s right, among the screaming 12 year olds, were my mom and sister. 

If you knew my mom and sister (and some of you do) you would be as surprised as me to hear about their antics at the concert.  My mom is the most private, quiet, nice but shy person you’ll ever meet.  My sister is similar…quiet, laid back.  Not the type of person who goes CRAZY over some singer dude. 

But apparently, at this concert, before Adam comes out, my shy ole mom and sister are screeeaming, clutching each other and yelling for Adam.  I’m imagining them jumping up and down, screaming their heads off, singing along to his songs.

I just love it.  I was always the person who was obsessed with certain celebrities (ah-hem John Mayer, Brad Pitt, David Duchovny…the list goes on) but this is truly something else.  And just, so hilarious.  When Adam goes on tour, I need to go with them just to see how they act during it.  That will be entertainment enough for me.

Seriously though, I may not have good luck with guys, or have a boyfriend, or a guy who picks up the phone to call me…the list goes on of my fab luck w. the men folk…but I do have a great family.  They are easy to be with, really smart, able to have a good conversation…it really is a pleasure.  Plus, it’s cool that they know me.  Like, my friends know me, but not like my family does. and it’s refreshing. and they like me.  I guess after all the guy drama (I mean, not a lot of it, but you know, all the random people that come in and out of my life) it is nice that they are there, and seemingly unchanging. 

And some guys like you, but not enough. Or they like you for no real reason, and you kind of wonder why. I know that your family has to love you..but there’s something kind of good about that, you know? Not that I don’t want to be loved, someday, hopefully! by someone who doesn’t have to.  But in the meantime, this works.

In other news…this summer is extremely hot.  First it rained a lot and now, it’s just hot.  Now, I’m a hot weather lover, but it’s getting excessive.  Out here in the burbs, it’s much more bearable because of driving in an ACed car, and jumping in the pool…but I mean, the city/Hoboken are kind of unbearable.  It’s like all the buildings are trapping the hot air in a most uncomfortable manner.  Sigh. I will get through it, but just needed to complain a little.

Tomorrow, hoping to do a little exercise in the morning, and then jump in and out of the pool while drinking homemade strawberry margartitas (ice cream maker, farmstand strawberries ripened by the sun, and they are so red, ice, rum, sugar, ahhhhh).

So  I did the Brazilian straightening treatment on my hair last weekend.  It was kind of a spur of the moment thing. .. It was Sunday, didn’t really have anything planned for the day.  Plus I came into some unexpected money when I thankfully was able to return a piece of expensive furniture I didn’t end up needing.

Anyhoo, it was a long smelly process.  Basically, they give your hair a good washing with clarifying shampoo (something I never use, because my hair is so dry and frizzed out) and then to open the pore even more, they give the hair a good blow drying.  Now, when this happens to my hair, when any heat gets near my hair actually, and there’s no product in it.  Let’s just say it’s an issue.  It came out looking like someone had turned a leaf blower on my head.  It came out looking very similar to that, although dark, and maybe even bigger.

Anyhoo, so it was all dry and clean, and the pore was wide open.  She started applying the Keratin.  Now Keratin is actually a protein, so it’s good for your hair.  It smelled medicinal but tinged with vanilla.  A fine smell, in the first hour of applying it.  She really went to town w. the stuff.  She applied it with a comb and just kept rubbing it in, coating it generously, really getting it in there.  This took a long time since I have a lot of hair.

Next came me sitting around under the hair dryer for like 30 minutes.  Then she blow dried it.  With all the gunk still in my hair.  It took a long time, since the stuff is greasy and thick.  Then she painstakingly flat ironed it.  That was the smelly part.  It literally smoked.  I guess it was to seal everything in.  Oh man. 

So I came out of it with silky smooth, if a bit greasy and weighed down hair.  The fun part? I had to keep it like that for 3 days.  Still, all that was normal.  Whenever I leave the salon, my hair looks great, shiny and I try not to wash it too soon.

But it was last night that actually kind of brought tears to my eyes.  I know, over hair, but having curly hair is serious business.  It’s a chore, hassle, and time commitment for it to look anything close to normal.  So when I washed my hair,and came out of the shower, I immediatly noticed a difference.  It wasn’t curling.  Also, it was drying quickly (it can take a full day and a half to dry completely, normally).  As it dried, it was drying, like normally.  It wasn’t frizzing out, or making strange curls that I’d have to tame.  It was drying flat, quickly, and without frizz.  And this morning I woke up and it was dry, straight, and without frizz.  It’s like the first time in my life that I’ve had wash and go hair, and it made me kind of emotional.

I’m hoping that once the treatment starts washing out, my curls will re-emerge, but in a more manageable, relaxed way, and not the tight rings of frizz that they usually are.

Is it bad that I am still super completely impressed with myself every time I see that I figured out how to do email alerts on this blog? And got the link to the top of the page so it’s easy for people to sign up? And did I mention that it actually WORKS?  That people (by people, I mean like the three readers I have) actually get it via email? And did I mention that I figured out how to do it after like 10 attempts and as many failures? K. Done bragging but it seriously wasn’t as easy as clicking a button, it was work.  Computer work. That I mastered.  K I’m really done now.

I am going to have to consider the last week or two a success.  I haven’t  fallen down any steps, or taken any trips to the Emergency Room. Go. Me. Seriously.

Plus, something incredibly great happened.  A delish frozen yogurt place opened on Washington Street called Koa Koa.  I think it’s a bit overpriced, but it is based on weight, so perhaps if I could control myself, I would have to pay 7$ for a frozen yogurt.  However, since it’s supposed to be healthy, don’t think I will be attempting much control.  And the best part? There’s pistacio – my fave flavor ever.  With no nuts in it.  Yum. Perfect.

So entranced was I by the product, when I was in there last week, I completely blew off, completely by accident, a tall cute guy in a blue shirt who was  def. trying to flirt w. me.  Yep, I was just really focused on figuring out how to best load up my cup w. the most yogurt and topping that was humanly possible, that the whole thing just kind of blew past me while I made minimal comments to said cute guy.  Naturally, I didn’t realize my mistake until like 5 mintues after the fact, at which time I ran out the frozen yogurt place, determined to run after him if need be…Alas, though I looked up and down the street, he’d disappeared.  Uuuuugh.  What a cute story that would be!  “Oh, we met at the frozen yogurt place…”  Hmm, well there’d have to be a bit of more direction on that, but you can see the potential.

Oh well, just another reason to keep frequenting the place.

My life is simpler today – I just erased an idiot from my phone.  A person who I never want to speak to, nor hear from via email or text, ever again.  It took me a while to completely 100% figure that out, but this weekend was the final straw.

Also simpler? I have only $100 in my checking account right now.  Really puts some limits on things I can do.  I can: Go to work, go to the gym, make dinner at home.  I can’t: spend money. 

See, simple.

YUM to Crumbs

 

It’s been quite a year so far.  I know I keep saying this, but I think you can see from my recent posts, either my karma has really swung around quickly to bite myself in the ass, or else I’m having a rash of terrible luck.

Take this Saturday for instance.  Yes, I was stressed.  My ASS HOLE, BITCHES of old roommates would not answer the door when I came to pick up my mail, despite ringing ringing ringing the bell and then, I believe they’ve been throwing out my mail. Which is a federal offense, thankyouverymuch. Lord.

Anyway, so then I decided it was a good idea to get a spray tan, and then to my friend’s to steam the clothes I was wearing out that night…and as I’m speed walking back to my apartment, I realize I have about 30 minutes to get ready before I’m late.  Great.

So I’m speeding around the apartment, can’t find the shoes I want to wear, not sure whether to do gold or silver accessories, when I remember the belt that I just got altered, which would look perfect with my navy blue birthday jumpsuit.  Unfortunately, it was a bit snug around the hips where I wanted to wear it.  And PS they messed it up so bad that it was too loose around my natural waist to wear it normally that way either.  So I was in a bind.  I needed to make a new hole in the belt.

Sweating, I chose the sharpest knife I had and began trying to make a hole in the tough leather. If you’ve ever attempted such a surgery, you’ll know that leather is tough to work with.  But I’m stressed and frantic, and goddamn it, that belt is going to bend to my will, the way nothing else has that day.  My self tan is dripping onto my clothes and my hands too, making it slippery.

I finally get sort of a hole into it, but need to create a slit so that it will all work together.  That’s when I lift the belt and, with my poor thumb under it, rip as hard as I can against the belt. And down. Into my vulnerable, fleshy thumb.

That’s when the blood starts gushing and it HURTS.  The side of my thumb is a bit mangled.  Still, in my deluded mind, I wonder if I can’t stop the gush of blood and just wrap it up. I’ve been looking forward to my birthday for WEEKS, surely this cannot be happening???

The blood won’t stop. The night isn’t going to happen.  Now I’m crying and feeling quite bad for myself.

Then there’s the emergency room, and the pain of getting the lidocaine into my thumb, and my yells across the hospital, and the poor doctor asking my friend “Does she need a tylenol or something?”

“Maybe a xanax?”

Hmmm. Poor me.

It ended up being a fine night, with Italian food, wine (very calming), margaritas and wayyy too many Crumbs cupcakes. 

Big thanks to all of my friends for putting up with me, not being upset about missing the whole city thing (actually, I think most of them were relieved), and making the best of the situation.

Bigger thanks to my friend who was so good in the hospital, holding my hand while I hyperventilated, and distracting me through the pain and blood and overall ickiness of the hospital.  I seriously think she’d be the BEST nurse ever (besides my sis, that is).

And PS, the new Hoboken ER is pretty sweet. I’ve never been in the other room, but once they get some periodicals going in the waiting room (oddly absent of all reading material when we were there), it will be a fine establishment.

So that is the story of my 26th birthday celebration fiasco.  Today is my actual birthday, July 28.  I’m at work, and I’m happy to be here, having a normal day.  Just trying to lay low and fly under the radar, until some good luck sees fit to come my way.

It’s 8.20am. I’m exhausted, my contacts are refusing to stay in my eyes, I have a feeling I’m addicted to caffeine, apparently my shower doesn’t think that making hot water is part of its job, my hair looks like something attacked it and not a hairbrush.  It’s pouring rain outside, and the subway platform was about 100 degrees this morning.

How I long to crawl under my covers and stay in bed for about 10 more hours.